For years, the default setting on talking about family finances was silence. We have clients who, to this day, still don’t know how much their parents made. When I began advising clients nearly 30 years ago, money was treated as a private topic, a source of potential friction, or a burden that parents simply protected their children from. But the financial landscape is changing.
Today, our clients are determined to initiate The Great Unburdening, actively reframing our conditioning around money talks. They recognize that the financial strategy that got them to this chapter won’t necessarily carry them through the next one.
Financial transparency is the most profound gift you can give your family. It’s an act of love, protection, and preparation. This new outlook breaks that outdated code of silence and begins building a legacy of confidence. So, how do you begin this essential conversation?
Start With Values, Not Dollars
The biggest barrier to a money talk is the emotions it triggers. When families jump straight into estate documents, they often trigger fear, jealousy, or judgment before the conversation even begins.
The solution is to change the conversation’s foundation and start with values.
Instead of asking, “Who gets what?”
Ask: “What financial lessons do we want to pass down?” or “What do we want our shared wealth to enable for the next generation?”
By focusing on a shared purpose—education, philanthropy, or entrepreneurship—we encourage emotional connection. This simple shift reframes the conversation from net worth to financial self-worth.
How to Host a Multigenerational Money Talk
How do we put this into practice? Treat your discussion as a planned, collaborative session. Here are some ways we structure these meetings to ensure they are productive and warm:
- Select a relaxed, private setting where everyone feels comfortable and equal. Avoid the high-intensity atmosphere of a boardroom or the distraction of a holiday meal.
- Establish ground rules, such as listening without interrupting, assuming positive intent, and agreeing that the goal is clarity, not immediate consensus.
- Frame your estate plan not as a final decree, but as an act of love that protects them from confusion and stress when you are no longer there to guide them.
The Gift of Wealth Education
To sustain this shift from silence to strategy, we must normalize wealth education as an ongoing family value. You can do this by:
- Using storytelling to discuss the market trends you’ve seen over the last three decades, providing context for the strategies you currently employ.
- Involving the next generation into financial planning basics, like the importance of updating wills, powers of attorney, and beneficiary designations. This is about involving them in the process of wealth management, not just the outcome.
- Making it relevant by discussing how inheritances, shared property, or philanthropic giving will be handled makes the learning immediately relevant.
Confidence Through Communication
The outdated code of financial secrecy doesn’t have to continue. You have the power to change this for your children and grandchildren. The unburdening can happen.
At AMG Wealth Advisors, we can help you with this process. Our team can offer specialized education sessions for family members, ensuring the legacy you built is understood and maintained.
If you’re ready to start the conversation with your family, schedule a conversation with one of our women-led partners today.